Spotted : Summer In Forks
by R Woodsen
Summary: Hey everyone! Remember 'Match Made In Hell? The story I kinda abandoned for 8 months while I faced death? Yeah, I'm back. And this is the re-write. And trust me when I say, it's oh-so-much-better. You know you still love me. xoxo, R.
1. Spotted : Swan Swims Home To Nest

**A/N : So, here it is, the first chapter of the new Match Made In Hell. As promised, I've decided to re-write the entire thing, and I'm sure it'll be much better this time around. I hope you guys think the same. Here's to a new beginning, longer chapters, more reviews, and no more MIA-ness on my part.**

**DISCLAIMER : Any recognizable trademark is not mine and belongs to their rightfully acclaimed owner.**

**Chapter One**

**Spotted : Swan Swims Home To Nest**

"_Love is forever, and we'll die, we'll die, together…"_

My car was winding down the serpentine street, twisting and turning. The stereo was on full, blasting out Muse's "_Neutron Star Collision (Love Is Forever)"_. I was humming along to it, enjoying the feeling of the sun beating down on my bared shoulders.

The last turn loomed ahead of me, and as I pressed down on the gas to make the turn home, I turned off the stereo and pushed my over-sized Diors up to my hair, squinting as my eyes got used to the harsh sunlight. My car slid down the driveway as soon as security recognized me, and just like that, I was home.

The sudden silence provided as I turned off the engine didn't last long as it was replaced by Renee's high-pitched squeal-shriek. I stretched my legs, smoothed down my Marni sundress, and opened the door of my 2009 Ferrari California convertible. My feet took a wobbly first step in their Manolos as I regained my equilibrium.

"Bella!" Renee was squealing. She rushed out to wrap her surprisingly tan and fit-for-her-age arms around me and squeezed, _hard_. I winced, but kept my comments to myself. The last time I'd seen my parents had been Thanksgiving. Christmas was spent with the girls in the Waldorf chateau. Spring break was sunning in some random island that Serena had discovered. The first month of summer had been at the Hamptons, alternating between Blair and Nate's summer houses.

And I was pretty sure that I'd be gone in two weeks, at the longest. It wasn't because of my parents, or even the depressive nature of Forks itself. It was my charade. My perfect-daughter-aka-geek-aka-single-without-a-date charade.

Though I hadn't exactly set out to be Daughter of the Year the first summer at Yale, a phone call the night before my return between me and my parents had changed everything. Renee had been proud, gloating over my good_-_girl-attitude while pretending to be scandalized but actually pleased by her frenemy, Jennifer Stanley's daughter, Jessica. Apparently, Jessica (whom I'd known briefly in high school- I quickly dismissed her as a social climber) had made a total fool out of herself the entire year. She'd skipped Thanksgiving, returned home on Christmas Eve drunk (with a random stoner in tow) and had spent spring break getting high. All of this had culminated in her getting expelled from college- the state community college.

Charlie had been grieving over the death of Tyler Crowley, his friend's son, and my high school classmate. Tyler had OD'ed the second month of college in Florida.

Hearing my parents both proud and grateful for my all-around good sense, I'd made a pact to myself that very moment. For at least two weeks a year, I'd pretend to be a good daughter, a geek; the anti-me. And as for the remaining 54 weeks, I'd put in appearances during Thansgiving and Christmas (as a perfect daughter, of course), make plans to return for spring break (and make sure they fell through) and somehow, cover up my wild side with straight As and stellar recommendations from my lecturers and college advisor.

And this is how Bella Swan party-animal-from-the-Upper-East-Side came to be Bella-Swan-goody-two-shoes-from-Forks.

I was snapped out of my reverie as Renee finally let go of me. Charlie, who'd had the sense to keep his distance (and thus, his hearing) until Renee had calmed down, now strode forward to give me an awkward and loose hug and a gruff, "We've missed you, Bells."

I stepped out of the hug the moment he did, and appraised him, noting that while Renee had bronzed herself to a Californian-perfection, Charlie had kept his pale complexion, obviously favoring the lake over First Beach. "I've missed you too, Dad." I smiled, a carbon copy of the grin in front of me.

A flash of light caught our attention, and from the corner of my eye, I caught sight of Renee with a camera in her hands, tears in her eyes. "That was just too sweet!" She exclaimed. I caught Charlie's eye and we shrugged, having accepted this as part of the Renee package a long time ago.

Charlie motioned for the two butlers hovering nearby to place my LV trunks in my room, and I lunged for my Missoni knit bag and my keys, which were still in the ignition. The three of us strolled back towards the main house, with Renee in the middle, one arm around my waist, the other in Charlie's hand.

Goody-two-shoes charade aside, it was good to be home.

_*Bella Cullen * Bella Cullen * Bella Cullen*_

After dinner, I trailed behind Renee as she led me up the stairs to my new room. She was positively gleeful, clapping her hands together eagerly every now and then, excited on my behalf. It was contagious. By the time we reached the third floor, I was wearing a grin on my face, my enthusiasm showing.

"Well, here it is!" She exclaimed, pushing apart two large French glass doors. I could literally feel my jaw drop, hear my gasp.

"Mom, I thought you were showing me to my new _room_." I emphasized on the word 'room'.

"Well, yeah. This is it. It just happens to take up the whole floor, but yeah, this is your room." Renee shrugged, impressively cavalier.

"Yeah, it just _happens_ to take up the whole _floor_." I repeated in amusement.

"Oh, honey, one more thing," She said to me as she turned around and flitted down the stairs. She spun around to face me as she announced, in a very calm voice : "I've set you up with Edward Cullen. This Friday, at La Bella Italia. He'll pick you up at six." She smiled. "Enjoy your new room!" She giggled as she gracefully descended the stairs to the second floor.

My jaw, just finally closed moments before, now fell open again. My mother just set me up with Edward Cullen. My childhood best friend. It was this Friday, and today was Tuesday. We were going to La Bella Italia, which had bared witness to countless of awkward Bella-and-Edward moments.

Gee, thanks, Mom. For the room, and the date.

Oh, and for ruining my life.

**SO?**

**Didya like it? Didya? DIDYA?**

**Yeah, I'm hyper active. Or drunk. Take your pick. Up next : The Freaking Out of Bella, The Return of Edward and Alice, The Shopaholic (not necessarily in that order)**

**You know you **_**still**_** love me,**

**xoxo, Ness. **


	2. Spotted : Hottie Set Up By Mommy

**A/N : So, breaking news : I received all of the –_gasp!_- FIVE reviews you guys left. Yeah, I know. Isn't that an incredible number? Guess I can't afford to be mad since I've left you all hanging for the last 8 months or so. Hoping that this chapter will compel you all to review.**

**So, to compel you into reviewing, you have a free pass into the mind of -_gasp!_- Edward Cullen. Yes, the prodigal-slash-perfect-son has returned. Enjoy!**

**DISCLAIMER : Just in case you missed this in the news, I now own the Volvo trademark, Twilight, Gossip Girl, and all the major fashion trademarks. NOT.**

**Chapter Two**

**Spotted : Hottie Set Up By Mommy**

"_I know that we are young and I know you may love me…_

_But I just can't be with you like this anymore, Alejandro…"_

I groaned and roughly pressed down on the 'On/Off' button of the stereo. Was it impossible for the radio station to play any thing that isn't crap anymore? After almost one whole year of party-music, I was looking forward to some relaxing music along with a relaxing summer. I had spent the first month of summer with Emmett, helping Jasper plan out his proposal. Yes, the Jazz-ster was finally gonna make an honest woman out of my little sister.

I winced at the implications of that sentence and quickly channeled my thoughts down a random path to avoid a case of TMI. I was cruising up the road that led to our house. Or houses, I guess. The Cullens, along with the Hales and the Swans, had started out as a group of six in college. Five years later, after college, they had found themselves the toast of New York, and three years later, ready to start a family. The ladies- our moms- Esme, Lilian and Renee had grown up in New York, and so decided that Central Park was too big a playground for their kids. The three families quickly wrapped up their affairs in the Big Apple and by the time my mom had Emmett, everyone had been settled in Forks, Washington. One of the most depressing places on the face of Earth, according to Alice. Of course, anywhere without the three Bs-Barney's, Bendel's and Bergdorf's- was depressing to her.

I was brought out of my wandering thoughts as I caught sight of the mansion looming ahead. Ah, home sweet home. Time to put on your mask, Cullen.

The car idled just out of sight from the main house as I flipped down the mirror and made sure that I was presentable to Esme. Carlisle wouldn't mind- I was free to do anything as long as I kept up my grades and the Cullen reputation- but I knew how important it was to Esme that I stayed the perfect gentleman she'd brought me up to be.

Satisfied with my appearance -save for the wild bush on my head- I drove past the now open gates and parked in the garage. Esme appeared at the door connecting the garage to the kitchen, Carlisle at her side.

Pleasantries were exchanged, as customary. Carlisle greeted me with a firm handshake and a "Good to have you back, son.". Esme wrapped her arms around me and gave me a little squeeze, sighing quietly. I stroked her hair and murmured, "I'm back, Mom. We're all back."

I knew this to be true because just moments before I'd caught sight of Emmett lounging around in the kitchen, slicing and dicing various fruits. Esme had probably appointed him as sous chef, as usual. Not that I was bitter or anything. God knows I couldn't cook to save my life.

"Actually, bro," Emmett hollered from the kitchen. "Not all. Little pixie's making a stop at Rose's first. Something about Blair and Gossip Girl." I caught his eye as we walked into the kitchen. He grinned at my confused expression before resuming his kitchen duties. "Damned if I know what that means." He shrugged.

I frowned. Gossip Girl…that was familiar, but I couldn't place it. Blair…Blair…Blair Waldorf? The girl who went to Constance with Alice, Rose and –I mentally stuttered on the name- Bella?

"So that's why you're here as sous chef…" I mused. Emmett grinned again, as did I. After all, it'd been at least a month since he'd seen Rosalie. The only thing that could keep him away right now was probably girl problems.

"And you can be third-in-charge," Esme smiled, handing me a small basket of red, green and yellow peppers. She placed down a chopping board and a knife alongside it opposite Emmett and waved me over. I grinned and mock-saluted her.

"Ay-ay, Ma'am!"

_***Bella Cullen*Bella Cullen*Bella Cullen***_

After dinner, I excused myself on account of the long day. After all, it had been a big day, and whatever energy I had had left had been spent by Alice, now known as the evil pixie. Said evil pixie and Esme trailed after me. Apparently, they had some 'marvelous' news. I was suspicious already.

I opened the door to my room then turned around to face them. "So, what's the 'marvelous',"-I made air quotes- "news?" Here, I raised one eyebrow and focused on Alice. After all, she was probably responsible for this.

"Well," Esme smiled. "You should really thank Alice. After all, it was her idea, and I am quite grateful for it" Suspicion confirmed, I nodded to myself.

Alice smiled and started skipping up and down in her usual energetic way. "We've set you up!" She squealed.

"Huh?" No, I honestly didn't get what the pixie was saying.

"What Alice means to say is that you have a date, courtesy of us." Aww, man. Set up by my mom at the age of 22? Geeky. But I choked down my pride, and smiled, keeping up the goody-two-shoes image.

"With?" I pressed on for more details. _Please don't let her be…_

"Bella!" Esme squealed as I finished my sentence: _…Bella_. Great. Now, don't get me wrong. It's not like I have anything against Bella-the exact opposite, actually-but it was bound to be awkward.

Esme and Alice turned around to go down. "It's this Friday, La Bella Italia. You're picking her up at six." Alice trilled as she skipped downstairs.

I groaned and slammed the door behind me.

Mary Alice Cullen is one _evil_ pixie.

**So, how's Edward's mind? Is it worth reading? Or should I stick with our darling Bella? Next up, the big reunion between our girls, and more Gossip Girl action!**

**xoxo, Ness.**


	3. Spotted : UES Princesses Reunited

**A/N : Chapter Three! It's here! After…well, I don't know how long, I just got a PM and a couple of 'update soon!' reviews and decided to post this baby. ****I've got nothing else to write about in my trademark long-ass ANs, so I've decided to tell you kids the tale of **_**How Renesmee Picked The Title of 'Match Made In Hell'**_**. And yes, I do know that you'll probably skip that part in your rush to the third chapter, so we've gonna have the nice story later on, at the end of the chapter. See you then!**

**DISCLAIMER : Gucci, Pucci- all mine! Mwa ha h- wait, what do you mean it's not mine? NO! Not the court, PLEASE- not the court! (I'm nuts! Mwa ha h- NO! Not the hospital! NO!)**

**Chapter Three**

**Spotted : UES Princesses Reunited – Summer Edition**

"_My first kiss went a little like this…and twist…and twist…"_

Alice was bobbing her head along with the beat and making kissy noises along with Ke$ha. I giggled and focused on the house in front of us.

"Bells is gonna be so excited to see us!" Alice squealed.

"You mean surprised," I retorted. "After all, she wasn't expecting us until tomorrow." Worry crossed Alice's features.

"But that was before B's…_situation_." She said delicately. I nodded gravely and re-read the blast that we had all received :

_**Gossip Girl here. **_

_**Your one and only source into the scandalous lives of Manhattan's elite.**_

_**We all remember our Queen B's fall from grace junior year when a tip-off found B not as innocent as we all thought.**_

_**It all started with the ever-loyal S covering for B and taking a social hit. Can't remember what I'm referring to? S's pregnancy rumor. It turned out to be B's pregnancy rumor, but her almost-baby-daddy was the true scandal. **_

_**Yes, there was a distant era when Queen B didn't rule alongside C. Once upon a time in high school, our Queen ruled with another king-N. As predicted, the fall happened when the truth came out- darling B had joined the rest of us in our sins. Her assistant was, of course, the then-sleazy C.**_

_**Needless to say, we're all over that. But B's done it again- and there's a definite possibility of a mini-B soon. Wonder what S and the rest of the girls – A, BS and R – have to say about this?**_

_**Well, B, in the event that congratulations are in order, make sure to let us know when you register at Tiffany's. After all, silver rattles are all the rage nowadays- if you're a privileged UES parent, that is.**_

_**You know you love me.**_

_**xoxo,**_

_**Gossip Girl.**_

I felt the knot in my stomach tangle up. It wasn't any easier reading it the fourth time around. I felt Alice's eyes on me and looked up. I caught her eye and said, "Hurry up, Ali."

She nodded, then floored it.

_***Bella Cullen*Bella Cullen*Bella Cullen***_

"Ali! Rose!" Bella exclaimed as we pulled up to the driveway. "Thank _God_ you're here! S is setting up the webcam. Mine's waiting in the room."

After a brief hug, Alice handed the valet the keys to her Porsche 911 Turbo and we bounded up the stairs to the third floor. Bella pushed opened two large French glass doors, and for a split second, I forgot all about Blair.

"Bells, I thought you were getting a new _room_." Alice breathed in awe. I nodded. Bella blushed.

"Renee said - and I quote- : 'Well, it just so happens that your room takes up the entire floor.' I think she's gone off the deep end again."

We giggled. Renee's deep end meant being over-indulgent with her only daughter. Occasionally, especially when Bella came home for the summer, Renee would get it into her head that she'd been a horrible mother, and try to make it up to Bells. Bella would, of course, deny this fervently, but Renee often used Bella's short visits and quick departure to prove her point.

Suddenly, we heard a voice from Bella's laptop on her bed. The three of us quickly climbed up on Bella's bed and sat crossed-leg, facing the webcam.

"Hey," Serena greeted, anxiety evident in her usually light and care-free tone.

"Hey, S. How's B holding up?" Bella asked. Though we were all very worried about Blair, the only person more worried than Serena was probably Bella, seeing as how the two Bs were cousins.

"She's holding up just fine, cousin," Blair said sarcastically, appearing on the screen. "Of course I'm not fine!" She shrieked.

"Oh, B." We chorused, shocked at her current state.

Blair was un-naturally pale despite having tanned with us for a month in the Hamptons. Her hair was pulled back from her face in a low and messy ponytail, and she was in an over-sized Yale t-shirt. She looked horrible.

Blair sat down next to Serena and leaned her head on Serena's shoulder. "The tests came out negative, again. This is beginning to feel like déjà vu." She joked.

"But?" I prompted. Blair knew better than to ask how I'd sensed a 'but'. We were all so attuned to each other, we could practically read each other's minds.

"But," she echoed. "I'm not so sure. This isn't like the last time." She admitted. "There's a possibility that we might have slipped up this time, and what other explanation is there for-" – She pointed at her disheveled self – "-this?"

"Blair Bear," Bella said in a soothing voice. "Don't worry, I'm sure everything will be fine. And even if you turn out to be…_glowing_," Bella hinted, "We've got just one more year at Yale. Everything will be okay."

"Yeah, imagine all those little blue Tiffany boxes and bags filled with cute little silver things for mini-Blair." Alice piped up.

"Well…there are quite a few items in the new baby collection that have caught my eye." Blair joked. We giggled, and just like that, the hard part was over.

The rest of the conversation was spent discussing who would get what for the baby- Nate would probably get something outrageously expensive, like a baby mobile or something. The Mean Girls would get together and buy a bunch of small accessories. Little J would fill up a whole wardrobe with gorgeous little gowns or suits, courtesy of JHumphrey Designs. Chuck would definitely go overboard and spoil the little one. The parents would act scandalized, but would be secretly pleased. They'd throw Blair a big, classy baby shower at the Palace, or the Plaza, maybe the Tribeca Star. Us girls would put in an appearance, then drag a still glamorous Blair off for our own private party.

Bella's parting remark was : "Don't worry, Blair Bear. You're 21, Chuck loves you, and we're all here for you. This baby will have everything it will need, and so will you."

Blair smiled, a true smile, and said, "I know, Bella Bear." We said our good-byes and see-you-soons, and as always, Serena being Serena, left us laughing at her parting comment right before the screen faded to black.

"Wait, that means you'll be waddling in Manolos!"

I honestly doubt even Blair would wear Manolos when pregnant.

"But she might just wear Louboutins during the first few months." Bella smiled, reading my mind.

"And I'll make sure to find her cute and gorgeous flats. Oh, that means we get to shop!" Alice trilled. She turned to face Bells.

"Speaking of shopping, don't turn off your laptop just yet, Bells. I just know there's an empty closet in here waiting to be filled up by shopping extraordinaire, Mary Alice Cullen." She said the last few words in a high British accent with an air of importance.

Bella gulped, and Alice rubbed her hands together gleefully. "But before that…" I started. Two pairs of eyes turned to face mine. "Doesn't Bella have a little something to tell us?" Alice gasped, her eyes widened, and then she rolled her eyes.

"So typical of you, Bella, to try and hide this from us. I assume you plan on cancelling the date." Alice said, her tone casual, with a subtle under-tone of criticism.

Bella rolled her eyes. "When you ASSuME-" She quoted.

"-You make an ASS-" Alice picked up.

"-Out of U and ME." I finished Mrs. M's favorite saying.

Mrs. M had been our headmistress at Constance. Her entire office and wardrobe consisted of only red, blue and white. Up until graduation, and long after that, we just couldn't figure out whether she was extremely patriotic or thought of herself as the president. She had been hell-bent on making sure all of Constance's girls made it into the Ivys, and she had a girlfriend named Vonda who drove a truck up in Vermont.

"Okay, okay, I get it." Alice's eyes lighted up with a mischievous gleam. "Does this mean that you have a date on Friday with my brother?"

"You'll use that as an excuse to shop, won't you?" Bella sighed.

"Well, I don't actually need one, but yes." Alice conceded.

"Only if you promise to-"

"-make you look gorgeous, but stay within boundaries. I know, Bells. It's always the same thing." Ali rolled her eyes. Bella glared at her. I distracted them by pulling the laptop into my lap and settling into the big, fluffy pillows.

"Let's go shopping!" I squealed.

**You kids still here with me? Good. So, just so you people don't get confused, please note that the story below was written more than a month ago...I think. Now, it's time for _How Renesmee Picked The Title 'Match Made In Hell'._**

**Now, kids, back when I was young, things were different. There was a very popular fic, '**_**Enemies With Benefits**_**', I think it was called. **

**I was in love with this particular fic. I suffered through months of waiting, but never gave up on it. When it was finally completed, I had an idea to write about Edward and Bella, but not the usual fluffy relationship. I wanted to write a sarcastic Bella and a cocky Edward. I wanted them to hate each other's guts, have big fights, and well, end up in bed together.**

**Thus, the concept of Match Made In Hell, because, seriously, if they're fighting all the time and hating each other, wouldn't they have seemed like a match made in Hell?**

**Sadly, I was just too in love with Bellward to do that. (not to mention that I wasn't-and still am not- capable of writing lemons) Somewhere along the line, I wrote a fluffy love plot. Heck, I even threw in Gossip Girl to make a real mix!**

**And I love this story. I love what it's become. I love the glamour that Gossip Girl brings to it. But the title Match Made In Hell just doesn't cut it for me, because it's just so…OOC, I guess. (I mean the title) As I'm writing this, I still haven't decided on a title for the re-write. In fact, the chapters are saved in my file as A1, A2, A3. Yes, this is currently Project A.**

**Hopefully, by the time I actually post this, I'll have a title.**

**Anyways, for those of you who are into Gossip Girl (especially if you've read the books) check out this link. I really like the site, and I hope the blogger, CC, will update soon. Check it out to see what I'm talking about:**

**http : / gossipgirlthereunion . blogspot . com**

**Just get rid of the spaces.**

**See you soon! (I hope!)**

**xoxo, Ness.**


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